Balancing School and Family
Family life is a balancing act. Between nap times, play-dates, keeping the house clean (or, I should say, "clean") and trying to carve out a minute for yourself once in a while, there's not much room for deep-dives into hobbies or serious study. But if you're at all like me, you don't want to let having a kid stop you from achieving your life goals. So, what to do?
I'm doing an MBA program, and raising a toddler. This has required me to figure out some strategies for survival, which I thought might be worth sharing:
1. Time management skills: If you're a parent, you already have these. I guarantee it! Now you just need to hone them to a perfected art if you don't want to pull any all-nighters. And aren't we a little old for all-nighters? Or pulling them with a screaming baby already?
My daughter goes to daycare 4 days a week, which means I have approximately 6 hours per day to do my schoolwork, run errands, make appointments and generally do things that would take 3 times longer with a toddler. Typically, I write out my tasks for the day and the time in which I will do them. When they are finished, I get great satisfaction out of crossing them off of my list.
I also religiously keep a paper planner with all my important deadlines and appointments. This is supplemental to my digital family calendar, but I take 5 minutes on Monday mornings to transfer all new events offline into my paper planner. Somehow it just makes things feel more concrete.
2. Let go of perfection: My father-in-law, in his infinite wisdom, taught me one of my favorite-ever phrases. "The tyranny of perfection, and the freedom of good enough." It's so true! I let go of the need for perfect grades and started focusing on the quality of what I'm learning and producing. And, you guys! IT FEELS SO GOOD! It's not like I'm in high school with the pressure of college applications hanging over my head. I'm simply trying to shift directions in my career. At this stage in the game, grades don't matter. Skills do. And you develop skills by practicing and yes... sometimes turning in a paper that you're less-than-proud of because you've got other things to do. Big. Deal.
3. Lean on your friends and family: Sometimes you can't do it all, and nor should you have to! I have learned that if I need to study or finish a paper, the best thing to do is ask my husband or a friend to take our daughter for the day or evening. Often, they're more than happy to do so. And usually 4 or 5 hours is enough for me to make a dent in whatever project is on the desk.
4. Keep a sense of humor: Alright, real talk: juggling classes and meetings and cramming late into the night for tests isn't always fun, especially when your kid is cutting a molar and your partner is on-call for work and everyone has caught the latest bug from daycare. But on the bright side, keeping a sense of humor about life and all of its attendant struggles will help you live longer. My daughter decorated my exam prep with all the highlighters. Once I got over the mini panic attack I realized: it's actually pretty funny! Also, nothing lasts forever. Even teething. Maybe especially teething.
5. Red wine: What can I say, it's fueled me through every degree I've done since I could legally drink! Alright, jokes aside... Whether or not you actually pop the cork, taking some you-time is probably the single most important thing you can do. Once or twice a year, when I'm really stressed and down, I like to play hooky and take a 'mental health day'. I go for a walk, maybe stop in a cafe, spend time with a friend... whatever it takes to get me feeling balanced again.
If Ruth Bader-Ginsburg could do law school with a toddler and still end up as a Supreme Court Justice, I've got all the confidence in the world that you and I can get through school with a little one in the house. Little-by-little, progress is made until one day you wake up and you've made it to the finish line.
And won't THAT be a glorious day!
